Magic words: A patient fakes suicidal ideation to get admitted. “‘You’re not suicidal, are you?’ I ask, after he’s been talking merrily for 20 minutes.

There’s a pause. ‘Yes, I am. Absolutely,’ he says, in a chirpy voice. Being suicidal is rather a difficult thing to prove. There’s no test and no scan for it. But, of course, I tell him that I think he’s lying.”

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